Toddler Translations

When you have a toddler, there’s never a dull moment (can I get an “amen”?)

There are some special phrases in our house that sound innocent until properly translated.  As mainly a stay-at-home dad, I learned every one of these the hard wayfrom our daughter, Raya.  I continue learning new ones every day.

Toddler Translations

I don’t have to go potty.  Translation: I do have to go potty.  I’m just saving it up for when I have more clothing on, until we leave the house, until I’m sitting on your lap, or until I get put on time out.

Let’s play hide and seek!  Translation: I’ve just found a piece of chocolate so I’m going to eat it as fast as I can under the kitchen table while you count to ten.

Uh oh, that’s not good…  Translation: It’s probably very bad.

It’s snowing! Translation: I’m very proud of the job I did covering the bathroom in baby powder.  Do you wanna build a snowman??


My friends and I are having a tea party.  Translation: I spilled stuff and I’m blaming my imaginary friends.

I’m clean!  Translation: I’m wet, and so is the entire bathroom. Oh, and we’re also out of soap now.

I love mama’s lip gloss.  Translation: Mom’s lip gloss has a bite taken out of it.  Throw it away immediately, and hope she thinks it’s just lost somewhere.

Look Daddy, I’m beautiful! Translation: I’ve just cut my hair with your nose hair trimmers.  After I doused the bathroom in baby powder, of course.


I put magic on Roman to make him disappear! Translation: The boy is now covered in glitter.  Good luck getting it all off before Tuesday.

Scoot over. Translation: I’m about to kick you in the junk while I try to cram into the tiny spot next to you on the couch.  To snuggle. Because I lo000ve you.

I’m not tired. Translation: I’d rather have a meltdown than take a nap.  Oh, and don’t try to fool around with mom, because I’m just going to get up in 5 minutes.

Roman’s not sharing! Translation: He’s getting strong enough I can’t take all his toys away anymore.

Arf, arf! Raya did something naughty.  But don’t blame me, I’m the dog.

What important toddler translations did you learn the hard way?  Feel free to leave a comment and share.  I feel your pain.

Kevin Signature



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